Objections?
by StarWarrior72
Summary: Luke has objections for most games on the basis that they're pointless. Somehow, when he plays games with Daddy that doesn't seem to be a problem. This is a personal challenge to see if I could write a whole story without dialogue. I used Bill Watterson's 'Calvinball' as an inspiration.


Most people who were told that Darth Vader had a five-year-old son would have clucked their tongues and felt sorry for the boy.

Luke Skywalker did not feel sorry for himself at all.

Clearly, all these poor people had grown up with bad parents, he told himself. It wasn't their fault. He'd just got lucky with his daddy.

In Luke's opinion, most grown-ups were unbearably stupid. And Daddy said that Luke should act dumb just to keep them happy. Daddy said that Luke shouldn't hurt their feelings by letting them know how much smarter he was.

Luke didn't want to hurt their feelings. Of course he didn't. Daddy said that hurting people's feelings was bad, and Luke didn't want to do that.

It was just that the grown-ups wanted to do such stupid things. They wanted to play 'tag' with him. Tag, as far as Luke could see, was a game comprised of running in circles making an idiot of oneself in a group. Luke did not like tag.

And when they realized he didn't like tag, they wanted to play hopscotch. Hopscotch, in Luke's mind, was a game of hoping around on one foot looking like a wounded and slightly insane rabbit. Luke didn't like hopscotch either.

And then they'd realize that he didn't like hopscotch, and they'd want to play catch. To Luke, catch looked like something one did when one was bored. Unavoidably bored. Probably trapped in a room with nothing but a rubber ball. And a partner. Luke didn't like catch either.

Then they'd realize he didn't like catch, and they'd want to play _organized sports_. Luke did not know what to think of organized sports. He hated them. They seemed, to him, to be mostly comprised of all the other stupid, pointless games rolled into one. With teamwork. Luke was not very good at teamwork. Neither was Daddy, so he understood. But the grown-ups said that teamwork was very important, and how could Daddy have got where he was without teamwork? This confused Luke greatly. Daddy had got where he was without teamwork. How could he have got there with teamwork? That would have meant so much more arguing and debating about the next action. No. Daddy's theory of doing what he knew was right worked so much better.

And then, eventually, they would notice that Luke didn't like organized sports either. Then they would cluck their tongues again and mutter that being with Daddy had made him strange. Then they would want to play 'house'. Luke did not understand house. All the other games, at least, had a clear objective. The objective of 'house' was not clear.

Sooner or later, 'house' would be dismissed as well. Then the grown-ups would want to play dolls. Luke did not own any dolls. At least the dolls step was over quickly.

Once lack of the necessary playing equipment had saved Luke from a variation of 'house', the grown-ups would go away clucking their tongues and saying that it was a shame Luke's spirit had been crushed at such a young age.

Luke would be walking away wondering just how awful their parents had been for them to find that to be amusing.

Daddy always had said people could be weird.

Luke would find Daddy and tell him how weird these most recent grown-ups had been. Luke hadn't found a kid so dumb yet. Of course, he didn't meet a lot of kids. He wondered if he could convince Daddy that grown-ups weren't worth getting to know either.

Daddy was okay with playing with Luke. Daddy's games were always more interesting than the ones the weird grown-ups thought Luke should like. Daddy's games were useful. Daddy's games meant thinking.

Daddy got out the board. He started, and Luke took his turn next. Luke rolled a seven, Daddy got a four. That meant that that they had to roll again. Luke got a one. Daddy got a twelve. Luke got to pick the challenge. Luke picked trying to get across the gym in the number of seconds they had first rolled. Daddy packed up the board and took it down to the gym.

Daddy went first. He made it across the gym in three seconds. Luke managed it in eight. It wasn't totally fair, though, because Daddy had longer legs. Daddy said Luke could go first.

Not that it really mattered.

Luke rolled. He got a six. Daddy rolled. He got a thirteen. To counteract the bad luck, Daddy got to make a new rule.

Luke rolled. He got a thirteen-and-a-half. Daddy rolled. He got a six. Neither of them knew what a thirteen-and-a-half meant. Because Daddy'd got to make up a rule, he said Luke could make up the new one.

Luke missed a turn, just because Daddy'd been nice.

Daddy rolled. He got a forty-three. Luke asked what that meant, and Daddy realized he'd accidentally changed the dice to different settings. He put it back the way it was supposed to be.

They tried again. Daddy got a seven. Luke got a seven too. They both moved their pieces five spaces ahead.

Daddy rolled. He got a thirteen-and-a-half. Luke got a twelve. Daddy had to find a way the numbers were connected. He couldn't find one that was interesting enough, so he had to run around the gym. Luke had to solve simple puzzles. Each one he got, he got to move one space ahead.

When Daddy got back, Luke had moved seven spaces ahead.

Daddy got to roll twice to make up for it. That meant he got to choose the next challenge. He said that Luke had to climb the ropes in the time it took him to run around the gym five times.

Luke managed it, and from the top bar, he declared that Daddy couldn't play until he got him down. Daddy brought him down and they rolled again.

Luke got a four, and Daddy got twelve. Daddy got to make three rules, or move three spaces. He made one new rule and moved a square and a half.

Luke got a seven on the very next turn, and had to go to bed.


End file.
